My Becoming - Valeska's Unbirth
by CharlieRayne
Summary: The background story I wrote for my Malkavian Valeska for my current WoD gaming sessions. I figured I'd share. I hope you enjoy.


My name is Valeska. I was born on April 15th in the year of 1698 and I was killed the 22nd January 1717, but as it would turn out, that wasn't the end of me as you can see.

If you're willing to lend me an ear, I'll tell you my story. It's a long one and not altogether pleasant. Do you wish for me to continue?

Very well.

I was a baker's daughter, my father had his own little shop and he would distribute his goods to the local inn and to the Lord's home in town as well. He was quite well known for the good quality of his bread and cakes, and for his pickiness when it came to the raw materials put into them. I learned a lot from my father and I intended on taking over the shop when he got older.  
Father had other plans for me though, he wished for me to marry a wealthy merchant, 20 years my senior. I can't blame him for wishing me a better life, but I think he sometimes forgot just what we already had. We were not poor, though not wealthy, but we had what we needed and a little extra to go around.  
We would even give away some of our goods from the previous day to the poorhouse on the outskirts of town. Father believed strongly in sharing and helping your fellow man and so did Artem, my younger brother.

Our mother died when Artem was born. She got a terrible fever and didn't live to see him grow past 4 days of life. On top of this, he was premature and small of stature, much like myself when I was born from what I've been told. I remember how terrified father was that his only son wouldn't make either, but somehow the little boy survived and managed to grow into quite a strong and reliable lad.  
He turned 10 the year of my death. I feel terrible for leaving him behind. Part of me even wished to seek him out and embrace him in my early unlife. But I was certain he'd have a life of his own at that point, probably with a wife and children of his own now and I have no doubt that they would've needed him. The same with father, who must be an old man by then, if he had not already passed.

I don't remember the day my life changed very well, I just remember it was a day like most others. Nothing remarkable had happened. I had probably been helping out in the shop or in the kitchen for the better part of the day. It might even have included a slight argument with father regarding my upcoming marriage to the merchant. I didn't fancy him one bit. As I said not only was he 20 years my senior, but I'd be his 3rd wife and stepmother to 5 children, one of which only 2 years younger than me. I never liked the way he looked at me either, there was something unsettling about it – I'd almost feel like prey. I suppose nowadays he'd be called a predator. Perhaps even a murderer.

I do remember however that I was to make my usual round to the poorhouse. I had a basket with the usual goods, about a dozen bread and a few pastries I believe. I'd usually do these runs after sunset because of my complexion. Despite the winter cold, my skin would turn red and burn, sometimes even blister under the rays of the sun, so these short days were truly a blessing for me.  
Father never liked my going outside during night, but he understood. He'd seen the pain the sun often caused me. How ironic is it? That the sun was an eternal tormenter for me even in my human life, I suppose you could say nothing much have changed, it just kills me faster now than it did then. I guess one could say the sun have taken pity on me and decided to make it quick the next time? Hah!

Anyways I had taken the basket and went. I remember thinking it strange that there was no smoke from the chimney as I got closer to the poorhouse. Even though it was dark, the light illuminating from down the chimney would usually make the smoke visible, even if just a little. I couldn't see any light inside either as I got closer. I remember wondering if they had run out of oil for their lamps. It wouldn't have been the first time. Though I don't believe I've ever been there without their fireplace being lit.

I walked up to the door, noticing it being ajar and as I gently pushed it open I saw that it had been broken. A large piece, where the lock and handle had been, had been torn off and was laying on the floor a little further inside the house. Why would someone break in the door? Anybody in their right mind would know they had nothing of value to take. What was going on?

I remember calling out, if anybody was there and if everything was alright, but got no reply. I'm not sure if it was my nerves or the natural sense of fear that was setting in, but I somehow blocked out the fact that the house reeked of blood and death. Have you ever been near a dead body? Even while completely fresh, there's a certain smell to it, once you recognize it you'll never forget it and you'll always be able to tell if there's a corpse nearby. Why do you think hospitals have that certain unnerving smell to them? It's not all cleaners and bleach, I can tell you that.

I stepped into the house, not bothering closing the door behind me. I hadn't walked far before I accidently kicked something soft with my boot, causing me to drop the basket. The dull thud echoed in my perked ears and I felt the colour drain from my face. I could feel the rim of my dress had gotten warm and wet against the lowest part of my leg, that wasn't covered by my boot.  
I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to scream. I quickly snapped out of my fear induced trance however, when I heard a laugh from somewhere to my left. Quickly spinning around to face the sound, I found myself face to face with a man. He grabbed face from underneath and lifted it up as if to get a better look at me, despite the dark. I recall the coldness of his fingers as they ran across my skin. Cold as death on a winter's night. Ironically.

"How lucky for me, a little bird has entered my nest" he said. "Orange truly is a beautiful colour" he added. I pulled myself back, but in my eagerness to get away from this man, I fell backwards onto the floor. Feeling myself landing on something, which turned out to have been someone. I felt my back and bottom getting soaked and my palms were covered in warm, thick liquid. Blood I soon realized. I had landed on a dead body.  
This man, whoever he was, had killed them all. Of course, I had no evidence of this, but I was as sure as I've ever been about anything. He did this, I could feel it in my very core.

I did my best to get back up on my feet, but the blood had made the floor all slippery. So, all I really accomplished was getting covered in more of the blood of the people, who used to call the poorhouse home. The man laughed again, obviously enjoying my fear and probably finding my failed attempts of escape rather hilarious. I know I would.  
I remember him mocking me as I finally managed to get up, though the exact words escape me. I ran to the door in a blind panic, smacking straight into another person. A woman this time.

"Claus, I believed I told you to simply intercept her. Not cause a scene and attempt to get your filthy hands on her" the woman said. A chill ran down my spine. Intercept me? What did they want with me? I wasn't anything or anybody special. Did my fiancé double cross somebody? It was all I could think of. The woman grabbed my shoulders tightly, tight enough for it to hurt.

"Look what a mess she is!" the woman further snapped at the man after looking me over. She was right, I was covered in gore, with blood smeared all over my arms and hands and my clothes were soaked in it as well.

"You're never any fun Anna" I head the man retort with a snort. Despite not being able to see it, even if I had turned around to look, I could tell he was grinning. Taking much pleasure in the situation, whether it be from my fear, or the woman's anger or even both, I couldn't tell. Honestly at the time, I didn't even want to know.

"I will deal with you and your insolence later!" the woman hissed. "For now, little girl you will **sleep** " she looked me straight in the eye when she said that and I suddenly felt very drowsy, despite the adrenalin causing through my veins like a wild fire. I'm certain I fell asleep, because next I remember is waking up in a cold and damp room, with no lights.  
I assumed there were no windows and despite my grogginess, confusion and fear, I came to realize I must be in some sort of basement. The earthy air filled my lungs as I very slowly got up from what turned out to be a very old bed, with damp -and judging from the smell- mouldy blankets. In my confusion I hadn't noticed that I had been undressed in my sleep, but now I was very aware, causing me to get even more scared than I was before, as I felt the cold sweep over me.

I slowly and as quietly as I possibly could, started walking around trying to feel the room, with my outstretched arms. The walls felt like raw boulders and much like the bedding, they were damp. I soon realized that the room I was in, were not much larger than the bed, in fact I believe two beds and they'd have covered the entire floor, and mind you this was no queen or king-sized bed like the ones you're used to today. No, this one was small enough, for you to feel the rough frame against your elbows, when laying on your back.

I tried the door but I already knew it'd be locked and with nothing else to do, with nothing else I could do, I sat back down on the bed, covering my naked body with the stinking blanket in an effort to stay warm. A task I was failing at.

I have no idea for how long I sat there in that tiny cell. Shaking from the cold. My body was slowly growing numb and my mind blank. I had no sense of time in the darkness. My senses were on hyper alert, the tiniest sound would make me jump out of my skin as the fear consumed me. I must have been exhausted when the door finally opened, though I didn't feel it, the fear and my tense body wouldn't allow me a moment of rest, not even the feel for the need of it, it seemed.  
The light from outside my cell blinded me, though it was merely a few oil lamps hanging on the walls and not even visible from my direct line of sight. The person in the door was a woman, no doubt the woman from the night before. She was very tall and after my eyes had adjusted slightly to the light, I could make out her long dark hair and eyes. She was average looking, though she looked worn down, as though she had lived a harsh live.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting my dear" she said with a gentle yet twisted smile. My body tensed as though bracing for impact and my breath quickened. She reached out for me and grabbed me tightly by my wrist, painfully so.  
"Let's get you cleaned up. You can't be this filthy on your birthday" she said still with that twisted smile plastered on her face. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her to let me go. That she was crazy – though I of course had no idea at that time just HOW crazy that stupid bitch was.

She pulled me out of the room and upstairs, forcing me to attempt to cover my naked frame as we passed other individuals in the hallways, though they seemed to pay me no mind. As though this was normal.  
She pushed me into what I realized what a washroom. In the middle of it was a large wooden tub, which she promptly pushed me into, before I had even really taken in the room.

The water was freezing, causing me to shriek involuntarily. The woman rolled her eyes as though I was a whiny toddler and started roughly rubbing my body with a piece cloth, to the point of turning my skin red and irritated. I had started crying at this point, which only seemed to please her, in the same way a young girl would be pleased to have a kitten dumped in her in lap. I'm honestly surprised I hadn't cried before this point in time. The human sense of flight and fight is truly remarkable everything taken into consideration.

After what seemed like forever the woman, Anna, finally deemed me clean enough it seemed and pulled me out of the freezing water and started drying me of. Paying special attention to my long white hair and other certain parts of my body I'd much rather she had ignored.  
"What a beautiful corpse you'll make" I started shaking with fear and wide eyes, when she whispered those words in my ear. I could feel my sanity slowly leaving me as a deep, bestial sense of dread filled the entirety of my being.

When she had finished drying me off, she went to the other side of the room, to a vanity table. I didn't bother looking at what she was doing there, nor did I have enough sense left in me to figure it probably would only take mere moments before she returned her attention to me. I made a wild dash for the window in my panic. Only to find it locked. As I was about to smash my hands into the glass in hope of shattering it, the woman grabbed my both my hands and spun me around with no effort on her part.

"Naughty, naughty girl. No escaping on your special day" she said in a playful tone. She held a dress in her hand and before I knew it, she had stuffed me in it and was closing the back on it. It almost looked like a wedding gown, all white and rather extravagant.  
"I hope you like it. It was Elisabeth's. We used to have a lot of fun her and I. Unfortunately, she was also stupid. Getting herself caught and put into solitary confinement. A truly sad ending to a beautiful era" Anna said while twirling me around. "Just beautiful" she added, seemingly satisfied.

"Why are you doing this?" I managed to ask, surprising myself by how steady my voice was and the fact that I even managed to get the words across my lips in the first place.

"Because I love you, Valeska. You didn't think I'd let that perverted merchant have you, did you? No, my dear, you are mine and mine alone. And I will be your everything. Your every thought, your every move. I will be your life essence from which you shall exist, by my side to the end times" she replied. Her eyes were capturing my own, causing me to shudder. Her stare was deep and intense, I swear she could see right through my mortal shell and into my very soul.  
"And we will have so much fun, my dear. Night after night, after night, after night" she continued. I didn't dare think about what she meant with that. I wanted out of this, the sooner the better.

"But we don't know each other" I stuttered.

"Oh, I know you very well, my dear. I've been keeping an eye on you for quite a while. For almost a year now. I could've kept watching you love, but then your daddy just had to become a problem, didn't he? Arranging that marriage. I'd have liked to wait a little longer, but he forced me to act. Before that brute could take your innocence away. My sweet innocence" as she told me this she cupped my face with both her hands, before forcing her lips on my own.  
I'm not sure if it was an act of fear or defiance, though I'd like for it to have been the latter, but I bit down hard on her lip almost as per reflex, drawing blood.  
She quickly pulled back, but it seemed to have been more from surprise rather than pain. Touching her lip where I bit her tenderly, as her blood trickled down the corner of her mouth. Her looked pleased somehow.  
"I didn't think you could surprise me, my dear. I think I love you even more now" her face contorted into a crazed grin, her eyes glazed over with what could only have been a twisted sense of desire.  
"I can't wait any longer" she said suddenly and before I knew what had hit me, I was on the floor with her on top of me. She held my arms above my head in an iron grip as she buried her face in my neck. I felt a sharp pain, she had bit me. She was moaning and despite myself, I was enjoying it as well. As rush of ecstasy overcame me, overwhelming any other emotion or pain I might have felt. I barely noticed myself growing weaker as she drained me, I just felt like I was floating in an endless void, like nothing mattered. After a what seemed like hours, but it was probably only a couple of minutes if that, I felt myself slowly fainting away, I knew I was dying, but I didn't care. I felt no fear of the unknown, as my vision darkened. Everything went black.

Then I woke up.

But not like in fairy tales or all those creepy pastas online, where I'd wake up in my bed covered in sweat and find it all to have been just a bad dream. No, I woke up to find myself sucking on Anna's wrist, suckling like the new born I was. Her blood was sweet, probably the sweetest I've ever tasted. Not sure if it's a sire-childe thing, or if it was simply because it was the first drink of blood in my new existence.

This is when many - if not most - would expect me and Anna - my sire - to become a pair of crazed lesbian lovers, going on the murder spree of the century, both to teach me about my new life and for the simple sake of enjoying ourselves. Gorging ourselves on desire, blood and terror.  
That is not what happened.

I was taught about our kind and what else this new world had to offer, on a need-to-know basis only. And when you're stuck in a cellar for almost 30 years, it is very limited what you need to know.  
Anna was unpredictable at best, which I learned wasn't uncommon for kindred belonging to the Clan of Malkav, or malkavians if you will. It seems we all tend to go mad upon our wakening. I found myself to have developed a taste for, well, literally anything you normally wouldn't even consider putting in your mouth. It didn't have a name back then, but I believe today you humans have decided on calling my condition puca, or pica, or paca, or something like that.  
I've later found out that I'm also able to see and communicate with ghosts and figments of my imagination – though who can really be sure of what they are? Maybe I just see things that others simply can't or won't.

Anyways as I said, Anna was very unpredictable and honestly rather unstable. She was extremely possessive of me, which was her reason for keeping me locked up in a basement for 3 decades. Now I know you're wondering why I didn't just walk out, or fight my way out somehow. Drinking the blood of another kindred, sort of puts a spell on you, you see. The more often you drink, the stronger you'll feel for this person and as fate would have it, Anna refused for me to have any other blood, than hers. Of course, she knew the effects no doubt, but I don't think that was the main reason for her to do this. She was just bat shit crazy. So even though I desperately wanted to get out and leave, I simply couldn't.  
I loved her too much. And I hated her too much to just walk out and let her get away with it. And I was scared to death of her. Confusing, right?

She would have good days and bad days. On the good days she'd shower me with presents of dresses, dolls and other things she found adorable. She'd dress me and do my hair and whatever else she felt like. She'd kiss and fondle me. Feed me her blood and drink of me as well. Live out her sexual escapades, that she missed having with Elisabeth – who by the way, I later found out to have been Elisabeth Bathory. You know her? The crazy, Hungarian countess that murdered a couple of hundred young girls to drink and bathe in the blood to stay young? Yeah that one.

On her bad days however… well more like weeks honestly, I'd be at the centre of attention in an entirely different manner. Sometimes if I were lucky, she'd just lock me up in the cellar for weeks at the time, without feeding me, or speaking to me. Other times, she'd rip out the nails on my fingers and toes, then feed me to have them regrow, and start all over. This process would sometimes last for days.  
She also fancied a lot of her other "toys" as she called them. The lead sprinkler, breast ripper and the thumbscrew seemed to be her favourites. It's a good thing losing a limb or a lump of flesh isn't a permanent effect we suffer from.

When you're in a position like that, locked up without any contact with the outside world really, you lose track of time, which I still don't have by the way. The only reason I could tell night from day, was because of the uncontrollable tiredness the sunrise brings my kind.  
I do however remember one day though. I remember it had been during one of Anna's not so good times and I was chained up, dangling from my wrists against the cold stone walls. I heard her hasty food steps and her enraged muttering. I started slowing bracing myself for what I thought was to come, expecting another long torturous night.

"… what the hell does he know anyway?! Hah! I'll show him! She'll NEVER leave me! Filthy brujah! Bastard should stay in the woods!" I heard Anna spit as she opened the door to the cellar and walked over to me. She roughly grabbed my chin and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Yeah that's right, you will never leave me!" she swiftly and with no regard for any pain on my part, forced my head upward exposing my neck. "You'll become one with me forever!"  
She bit down on my neck and started draining me, but not like she usually would. This was angry and desperate. It felt like she was sucking at my very soul.

I'm honestly not sure if I cried out or not. It felt like I was drowning, though I had no need for air and I could feel the cold all around me for the first time in my unlife. I think I was about to lose consciousness, when Anna abruptly stopped what she was doing. I was so drowsy and confused I'm not entirely sure what happened. But I think I heard her swear and curse and wreck the entire room from the sound of it.

"I can't do this" she said and without warning unlocking my chains causing me to collapse on the floor. She sat down next to me on the floor and pulled me into her lap. "But you will, my dear" she brushed my hair out of my face with care, suddenly being her sweet and gentle persona. "I will become part of you, love. And I will be with you forever. You won't be running away from me then – you won't be able to, because I will be inside your veins. I will become part of you forever" she said as a matter of fact as she pushed my face to her neck.

I was so weak and on top of that I hadn't fed in a couple of days. Without even thinking I sank my fangs deep into her neck and as I regained even a little bit of strength, I felt myself grabbing her hair tightly in a fist and pushed her to the floor.  
"That's my good girl" she whispered faintly. "Keep going, **feast** on me! **Devour** me!" she ordered.

I wanted to stop and I didn't want to stop at the same time. I felt like I couldn't even if I had mustered every little bit of willpower I possessed.

"We will be together forever… Valeska…" my sire said weakly as she slowly fell into a comatose state. I'm unsure of what came over me, but I felt like a powerful and ravenous beast, feeding on a fresh kill. I could feel her very life force entering my body. There was no struggle, it felt like a tide wave flowing over and into me. I don't think I've ever felt that alive before or since for that matter.

It was bliss. Pure clean bliss.

I cried out in pure pleasure as I felt Anna's body crumble away into nothing between my fingers. I didn't care much though. I was blinded by the euphoria.

Then I heard laughter. A maddening laughter echoing in the damp cellar. Took me a while to realise that I was the one laughing, to the point of tears.

I was in a haze, felt with the warmth of my sire's blood inside me. Drunk on her power causing through me.

That night I burned down the mansion and everybody inside of it. I'm honestly not sure why I did it. I guess you just do stupid, crazy shit when you're high off your ass, hah. I'm not even sure if any of the others in the house survived. I didn't really care much either, I still don't.

I suppose you could say this was my true rebirth. Entering the night, free of my tormentor. Or at least so I thought. You see the act of cannibalism amongst my kind leaves it's mark on you, not one you would be able to see, but some are able to, including myself. My kind don't usually take kindly to this sort of thing, even less so in today's day and age. So, it has caused me quite a bit of trouble in the past. And on top of that, the marks usually fade away after a while. Usually a couple of years from what I've heard, but not Anna. I still bear her mark after all this time. Maybe because she was willing. It's usually not the case with these sort of things, as you can imagine. Hell, sometimes I swear I can still hear her whispering in my ear.

Anyways after all of this I found myself wandering about, not really sure what to do with myself. I barely even knew what I was. I eventually found myself in this medium sized town where I opened a small stall at the market, where I'd sell bread and pasties. I wasn't very good at selling and I'd usually just walk about, allowing myself to indulge in whatever random urges I'd get. I wasn't sure who I was at this point, or what I wanted to do with my little piece of eternity. 30 years in a cellar kinda strips you of whatever personality you might have had. I'm honestly surprised that seemed to be all the damage I'd taken from that.

As time passes by, I slowly started to feel myself emerging from the depths within me, though it wasn't a me I could recognise, it wasn't the me I remembered.

If it was you and me wouldn't be here in this basement.

Valeska ran her fingers across the table at the side of the room. Letting her skin gently caress the steel tools laying on a see through sheet of plastic.

Muffled crying could be heard in the room.

"oh yeah sorry about the ball-gag, but the big boys upstairs are having a meeting so we can't have you being too loud down here" Valeska said as she picked up a pair of stainless steel tongs. She then turned to face the source of the crying. A middle-aged Japanese man. He was dressed in a cheap, ruined suit and he was bruised and beaten. He was tired to a wooden chair in the middle of the room and a bright red ball-gag in his mouth. She walked over to him and gently ran her cold hand down the side of his face.

"You must have really pissed them off for them to bring you to me. Not that I'm complaining. Getting paid to enjoy a reversed kinder egg is really not a bad thing" she said with a big grin across her crimson painted lips as her likewise coloured eyes shone in the dim light, despite being partially covered with her blue bangs.

"Oh, and don't worry, I'm nothing like my sire" She said cheerfully as she clasped the tongs down carefully into the nail of the man's right index finger, causing him to cry out in fear and panic.

"I don't have good days".


End file.
